What's the worst that can happen?

We've all been in a situation where we've been worried about something - usuallly we're unsure about the outcome, or there's a lot of uncertainty which makes it difficult to foresee how things will turn out - and then you think what's the worst that can happen? Evidently, more often than not, the outcome is never as terrible as you imagine, and it is nearly always never the worst.

The problem I keep having is when something unexpected happens that I hadn't accounted for - like if a friend isn't answering their phone or perhaps i'm meeting someone but they aren't on time - often the very first thought I have is that the worst possible thing has happened.

For example, I was waiting for someone to come and visit me today at 2pm. The time came and went and there was no knock at the door. Eventually it was 3pm, 4pm, 5pm - and its now 9pm and I have heard nothing of why this person hasn't turned up.

Various thoughts go through my head: 

1. I got the day or time wrong - I'm not convinced by this, I specifically remember setting the time - so I know this is not likely.

2. This person has been called out to an emergency - this is very likely on account of this persons profession - however I find it very hard to believe as I would have expected a call.

3. I did something wrong so they don't want to see me - this seems more appealing - it would explain why they didn't contact me - it would make me feel more annoyed at myself rather than feeling angry at the person who didn't turn up which is something I feel much more comfortable with. However I struggle to figure out what I did wrong, so there is some doubt.

4. They've died in some tragic accident - this then lead to several possible causes of death, a) car accident, b) possibly attacked by someone between now and when the appointment was arranged, c) house fire, d) the building where they work has somehow been destroyed, e.g. bomb, fire.


As far fetched as it seems, I managed to convince myself that option 4 was the most likely reason. I know it's irrational, and I don't believe that it's the actual reason, but it doesn't stop me worrying or imagining it.

I have a tendency to catastrophise. So if someone isn't answering the phone, I worry they've been hurt or died, if I'm on a train I can easily imagine it crashing, If someone is being quiet or irritable I feel like I'm somehow responsible or that I need to make it my responsibility to make it better. Luckily, I never let my worries or actions known, I can worry to death about it, but I will try my hardest not to let them affect me outwardly. I know how crazy they sound, and I know that if I start believing them, they'll only get stronger.

I frequently have to tell myself to stop it. I look for ways to distract myself and take my mind off it. I don't know why I can't just shrug and say what's the worst that can happen? Because I know I'll start thinking about the worst, and that's all I'll think about - so instead of feeling less stressed, I'll become even more worried and anxious.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. In some ways it's probably normal to analyse and work out different outcomes - it seems like a logical way to prepare yourself for the future. However, when it becomes more harmful, leads you to fret and worry, lose sleep, become completely preoccupied by disturbing thoughts, or perhaps leads you to act out in ways that are not reasonable - it's a sign that perhaps you may need to take action to try and tone down the anxiety.

Lately I feel like I've been living constantly on edge. Everything feels like a possible danger or threat. It's exhausting. However, I'm starting to talk more about my worries. It's good because being able to talk to someone else helps me to rationalise my thoughts. They can put things into perspective when I can't. I can work through the anxieties and realise that my worries are usually based mostly on my presumptions. So I'm making progress - but I still have a long way to go!