The low after christmas can often follow you into the new year and right on into January. Everything feels doom and gloom - we realise that we're not where we want to be in life, perhaps we've made mistakes or have regrets, life just keeps on passing us by and we never seem to be moving forwards - there's a whole new year ahead of us and you can't help but feel that nothing can change.
Or perhaps you feel pumped with energy? Full of ideas - this year is going to be the new me! It feels like this time things will be different. You sign up to the gym, start dressing nice and making an effort to go out and meet new people, perhaps sign up to a few classes, start looking for a new job and career? But for some reason, this boost in motivation never seems to last. Soon your back in your old rut and all those dreams and ambitions fade into something unachievable and unrealistic.
It often seems to be our way of thinking that lets us down. Our low self esteem and self worth can hold us back. We focus on the negatives, on what we can't do rather on what we can do. Once we start thinking like that it becomes incredibly difficult to break free from the opressive negative thoughts. They paralyse you.
It doesn't have to be this way. You can start to make changes - they wont happen as fast as you might want but its important to remember that if we can learn unhelpful thinking styles, then we can unlearn them. It can take many years to learn these ways of thinking, so it'll take just as long, and even more hard work to break free. Don't let that stop you from embracing change. Challenging yourself can seem like an almost impossible task, but it's also the most rewarding.
It's always important to be realistic. It's better to take smaller, more manageable steps to avoid being overwhelmed. Here are some ways that you can help make this Christmas a more positive and enjoyable experience:
- Keep Expectations Realistic - try not to visualise a 'perfect' christmas - it will never be how you want it and you'll always feel disappointed. Instead, concentrate on enjoying particular moments, or putting extra effort into only a few areas, Don't try to handle too much, do what is manageable with the time and money you have.
- Be Organised and Delegate - try and write a list of all the things you need to do and take time to work out how you can get it done in the time you have. It can help to delegate tasks to other family members. No one should feel the full responsibility of Christmas on their shoulders. It can also help bring people together if everyone chips in. You want to make sure the load of responsibility is manageable in order to stay stress free.
- Don't forget the Basics - eat regular, get enough sleep, try not to stop doing the activities that keep yo well. It can be easy to let things slide when you're under a lot of pressure, but by doing these things you are only going to make things harder for yourself. Take care of yourself and you'll find things easier to manage, feel more capable to cope, and you wont be as stressed.
- Change traditions that make you anxious or fearful - there's no point doing something if you don't enjoy it. Often we feel obliged to do things if they are tradition - but there is nothing stopping you from making changes other than your own worries. Try something new, it could be just the excitement needed to make Christmas feel special again.
- Be in the present - when there's a hundred and one things to think about we often spend more time thinking about things we need to do rather than enjoying the moment. Happiness can be in the now - enjoy the little things. Think about what you used to love about christmas and let yourself enjoy them again. If you find your mind wondering, try and bring yourself back to the present. Soak in the atmosphere, the smells, the food, the company.
- Avoid overdoing the alcohol - it's too easy to think alcohol can calm your worries or anxieties, to make a situation more easy to cope with, however it can worsen your depression and make things feel even worse. That's not to say you can't enjoy a drink, just keep a limit on it if you know it can become a problem.
- List all the achievements you've made that year - even if you don't think you've done anything worthwhile, you'll be surprised by how much you've actually done. Make a list of the positives, the things you're most proud of, and read it everyday. If you can't think of anything, ask the people closest to you, I'm sure they can pick out a whole number of achievements that you couldn't see. If you get your mind to focus on the positives and keep reinforcing them, eventually it'll become more of a habit.
- Don't beat yourself up if things don't go to plan - if you find yourself getting low or stressed, it's ok! Everyone is allowed to have a bad day. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow you can start things on a positive note. Don't punish yourself for being human!
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